


Back to square one?

by AsgardianDarling



Series: Hiddles Quickies [2]
Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Actor Tom Hiddleston, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble, F/M, Fluff and Angst, HiddlesQuickies, POV Female Character, POV First Person, Protective Tom Hiddleston
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 13:04:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13741479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsgardianDarling/pseuds/AsgardianDarling
Summary: Tom's leaving, you don't will yourself to try and stop him.





	Back to square one?

**Author's Note:**

> This was floating around my head for a couple of days, thought I'd give a try. It's more of an elongated drabble, as opposed to a one shot. I accept constructive criticism, (be nice please!) and I hope you don't totally hate it.

I sat on the corner of our bed, well, it was my bed now, with my elbows on my knees, silently watching both men doing their part of the work. Tom was putting away his socks and boxers in a small bag while Luke was helping him pack the rest of his things. I didn't want to believe this was happening, I didn't want to believe that Tom was actually stuffing up his things into bags and leaving. It all seemed so surreal, it wasn't supposed to be like this, I never though his dream of Hollywood would ruin him this much. The air in the room was thick, both men working in quietude and as fast as possible, things were already awkward enough as it was. Luke was folding Tom's clothing and packing it tightly, ensuring everything fit well enough. 

  


It seemed ironic, funny even, that now the house was already missing Tom's presence and he hadn't even walked out the door. For instance, my closet suddenly felt too big, which made me feel silly remembering the time I playfully whined to Tom about me getting 'the bigger half', after which he made sure to always leave me a bit of extra space for my clothing. I had no idea what I was gonna do with so much space in my two bedroom house. Luke zipped up both suitcases he was working on and walked over to Tom.

 

His voice startled me out of my daze,¨You need help with something else, man?¨ he offered.

 

Tom looked over to him from his spot at the foot of the dresser ¨No thanks, got it covered,¨ and went back to packing.

 

¨I'll wait for you downstairs,¨ he took the handles of the suitcases and left the room, giving me a sad look as he walked past me.

 

I said nothing, I just stared at him, dragging Tom's suitcases through and out the room.

 

This didn't feel right, this wasn't supposed to be happening, Tom was meant to be my happily ever after, he promised me when he got down on one knee a year ago. However, he was still packing whatever was left of his things in the house and he was leaving me by myself. Now, the house itself wasn't much, but it was enough for a young couple that was getting their life ready. We had both left everything behind to embark on our own adventures, we were young, in love and somewhat foolish. Tom was following his dreams in acting, and myself, well, getting my career on track and supporting him every step of the way with what I could. Now it was all falling apart in front of me, everything was coming downhill, he was leaving. Leaving everything, including me, along with our hopes and dreams and everything we worked so hard to achieve together. To add insult to injury, I was the one left to pick up the broken pieces, of course I wasn't blind to the fact that Tom is a very handsome man, and surely more than one woman in his new life would be willing to help him ¨get over¨ his heartbreak by getting under him.

 

Luke had left and the tension was palpable between Tom and I, the air felt thick as neither of us willed out any words. After what seemed like forever, Tom finally cleared his throat and spoke.

 

¨I'm leaving now,¨ he announced.

 

For some reason I missed him packing all his undergarments and walking across the room, next time I looked up he was standing in front of me.

 

I stayed silent. I was never one for showing emotions, I cried every once in a blue moon, it really took an army to know the mushy, sweet, tender side of me. In a cruel twist of irony, the only person to reach beneath the surface of my cold exterior and being able to tear down my walls was now the one shattering them. I promised after my last heartbreak I would never be in this situation again, that I was never gonna love anyone like this, I knew already that the pain of heartbreak was too much to bear, I probably should've gotten a puppy or something else. Now, here we were, going from being strangers, to friends, to lovers, back to strangers again. It was never an easy transition, but it was one you reluctantly get used to after going trough it so many times.

 

¨You're not gonna say anything?¨ he asked me.

 

¨There's nothing much to say, we both know this decision wasn't mutual,¨ I answered. ¨I just hope it's fucking worth it, throwing away 4 years with me over your job.¨

 

¨You know this was always a possibility, ever since we began dating,¨ he countered. ¨Besides, you're keeping the house¨

 

¨Is that supposed to make it ok? Does that magically entitle you to a get out of jail free card?¨ I answered him, but there was no real emotion in my voice. ¨THANK YOU SO MUCH for letting me keep the house where we fabricated so many of our memories together, the house where you promised me you wanted a life with me¨

 

¨No, but -¨ he answered somewhat frustrated, his voice slightly breaking, ¨but a little recognition would be nice, you just said we spent 4 years together¨

 

¨What more fucking recognition do you want?¨ I told him, ¨you're leaving me out of the blue because you suddenly decided your job was more important than us, you didn't even give us a real fighting chance, what the hell did you expect?¨

 

¨After 4 years, this is all I get?¨ he uttered ¨This is all we get?¨

 

¨This is all YOU are getting, Why the hell are you trying to make this about you?¨ I exclaimed ¨You're the one flying off to make big shot movies, while I'm left here to suffer your rejection, you don't really deserve any fucking sympathy, from anyone, and you know it.¨

  


¨Don't try to make this all my fault,¨ Tom declared ¨I gave you a choice¨

  


I let out a huff of air ¨Really? that's your stupid-ass answer?, hiding me from the public until your asshole agency said it was Ok for you to let me out? I'm not your pet¨

"It wasn't like that at all," he countered, "you didn't even give me a chance to explain all the details" 

My voice was deadpan, "What details Tom?, what details could possibly make this better? You really though I would just say yes to this stupid charade? Having you being paraded around like the elegible bachelor while I'm in the back basically accepting that our relationship isn't real? You would've put us, put me through that? " There was no answer. "Cause I'll be honest, you aren't gonna find anyone who accepts their relationship being disregarded the way you were willing to do so"

 

There was no more to say, Tom knew I had figured it out. He sighed defeatedly ¨Did you even really love me?¨ he asked rubbing his eyes, he didn't look at me.

 

¨Of course I did you twat, but I never really let myself fall madly in love with you, I knew you were gonna leave, because sooner or later, everyone leaves,¨ I told him, ¨You were no exception, but I honestly never thought that this is how it was gonna happen¨

 

¨So, no emotion, no nothing on your behalf?¨ he asked me.

 

¨What's the point of crying, it won't stop you,¨ I said, grief lacing my voice. ¨If this is how you wanted to end this, you don't really deserve it.¨

 

¨I'm sorry, this is what's best for me,¨ he apologised, ¨the agency told me it was my best move.¨

 

¨Do what you have to Hiddleston, I'm just happy we didn't make it to 5 years, cause how stupid THAT would've made me look, right? Oh, by the way, lock the front door on your way out and throw away the damn key¨

 

He walked over to the bedroom door and looked back ¨I really did love you,¨ he stated sadly.

 

¨I know, it just wasn't enough¨ I answered as I watched him leave our house, and thus, leave my life.

 

After what seemed like an eternity later, I spoke into the empty room

 

¨Just because you didn't see me cry doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, and just because I've been through this already doesn't make it easier.¨

 

I felt a single tear roll down my cheek.

 

He was gone.

 

Back to square one.

 

*************************************************************************

 

I woke up in a cold sweat, my breathing heavy and my heart threatening to burst out of my chest.

 

I sat up looking for a drink of water, when I felt a hand envelop mine and a sleepy voice speak next to me.

 

¨Darling, are you ok? What's going on?¨ he cooed.

 

¨Who? what?¨ as my vision cleared, I recognised the man next to me, it was my husband, judging by our matching wedding rings and the concerned look on his face.

 

I took a deep breath, calming myself down, ¨I'm fine, I just had a very vivid nightmare,¨ I explained, ¨It was horrible.¨

 

¨What did you dream?¨ he asked me in a raspy, still sleepy voice.

 

¨That you left me, you packed up your things and left, because some idiot at the agency told you you'd be more profitable without a relationship or some shit like that,¨ I told him.

 

His face scrunched up ¨Why the hell would I do that? I'd best be getting me a new agent in that case, " he gave me an assuring smile, "you've nothing to worry about my dear wife, besides, I'm sorry to inform you that your stuck with me for quite a while" 

 

"Darn it, well, I guess you're OK" I responded playfully, ¨Tom, honey, you'd fire your agent over me?¨ I asked with big puppy dog eyes .

 

¨Darling, for my beautiful wife I'd get rid of Luke if he dared asked such a thing,¨ he assured me.

 

¨Now Tom, let's not get carried away,¨ I playfully chastised him. ¨I actually like Luke.¨

 

¨Fine,¨ he tucked a rebellious strand of hair behind my ear ¨but you're the one firing him if he gets any ideas.¨

 

¨I promise, Tom.¨

 

He pulled me back down into bed and cradled me in his arms, his thin lips meeting my own, ¨Now, let's see if I can make those bad dreams go away.¨

 

¨You can sure try,¨ I answered as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

  


¨Tom?¨

  


¨Yes darling?¨

  


¨We're worth being together, right?¨

  


¨Every single day, darling¨ he declared as he kissed me again.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't make Tom the bad guy, but it felt like such a good plot I couldn't resist.


End file.
